The Three Cs of Great Sex

Longing for a better sex life? It's out there if you're willing to follow the rules. Check out the 3 Cs of great sex.

by eHarmony Staff

Excitement. Satisfaction. Intimacy.

This is what we all want from our sex life, isn’t it? And to achieve these fundamental goals in our relationship with our partner, it all comes back to The Three Cs of Great Sex:

Communication, Communication, and Communication.

Not what you were expecting? Well, we’re sorry if the title misled you, but communication really is crucial if you and your partner want to enjoy a sex life that’s exciting, satisfying, and intimate. Here’s why:

Communication Offers Greater Excitement

When it comes to knowing how best to truly excite each other, you and your partner have to talk about what you each want and enjoy. After all, no two people are exactly alike, and no two people get turned on by exactly the same thing every time. What you’ve got to do is communicate to each other about what it is that will make sex fun and exciting for both of you.

There are two basic ways to go about this: First, you should talk generally about what you like and don’t like, what you expect, and what you’d prefer to avoid. If that seems kind of scary, just ease into the discussion; start with a question such as, “What’s one of your favorite things we do together during sex?” This question can open up the discussion so that it feels more comfortable and less critical. A discussion like this might take place before the lovemaking actually begins, although it can often heat things up and lead to arousal, automatically moving you into the next phase.

Secondly, you should talk during sex, communicating what you’re enjoying and what you’re not, so your partner knows whether to stay where he or she is or move on to something else. We’re not saying that you should be a constant chatterbox during the whole experience; but most of us feel like we could use some help from time to time as we try to please this other person we care about. Also, this shouldn’t be a one-time conversation, but an ongoing dialogue. If you can talk before and during sex, you’ll have a much better chance of creating an experience you both find exciting and stimulating. That stimulation then leads directly to the next gift that good communication offers a sexual relationship: deeper satisfaction.

Communication Offers Deeper Sexual Satisfaction

The reason is that when you two are openly communicating and enjoying greater sexual excitement, you’ll automatically be more satisfied with your sex life. This satisfaction goes far beyond mere physical stimulation. When you talk with each other and clearly convey what you want, need, and expect, then your sexual relationship can satisfy you both in ways that go beyond the physical.