Revealing Deep Dark Secrets

Oh come on. This thread has been dead for 18 months. Let it rest in peace.

Wow Whitman - you sound first of all very uninformed and second of all very cruel. As one commentor stated already herpes is the same virus as the common cold sore (it simply prefers a different area). Further more it can be very affectively treated Without medication even.

I new one girl raped by her step father at 13yrs of age and given the virus in the attack. At 13 and half she had her first outbreak. If she lived by your advice she'd be the ongoing victim of that rape for the rest of her life! She's honest with people she dates, and she always tells them before they become physically intimate. But to say she should tell them before they know her?

A year ago my boyfriend of 3yrs lied to me. He told me he'd not been with anyone else and that he'd been to the doctor about an outbreak that was visible (neither of us had ever had anything of the sort previously). In his own words "the doctor cultured it, and said it was nothing". I had lived with him 2yrs, and trusted him explicitly. He was lieing, and I found out later it was intentional. Around this time he also stated he never wanted to see me with another man. I now have herpes.

I tell the men I date from an early point - but not before I feel they have earned a right to My privacy. I think there are multiple reasons to give it some time before mentioning it. A. he may not be worth dating at all - why would you want to tell a guy you soon realize you have no interest in? B. The more he knows me, the more likely he is to realize this is not something I take lightly or wound up with by skanking around C. It obviously forces the discussion of a forner relationship - most guys figure you're not over your ex or what they did to you if you bring it up on the first date, you want it to be clear that the emotional issues are well in the past where they belong. D why would you want it to be the focal point of the beginning of every relationship? E. If you begin things that way you are playing a victim rather than playing your own advocate, never victimize yourself. Saying be ready to cry is telling someone to be ready to play the victim! No One gets Anywhere positive in life by playing a victim.

This introduces another thing I'd really like people to understand - never play the victim. Whether you did at some point in the past or not doesn't matter Now. Now - Never play the victim. There's an Awesome book with medically researched info called the Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine, and there are phenominal treatments in it. I personally think everyone aught to know all they can about this disorder - because estimates are that from 1in8 to up to 1in5 have this virus (either the ones around the mouth or the ones around the genitals). Using Melissa Officianalis in a balm throughout the first outbreak can prevent all future outbreaks (it does in a mojority of cases studied by the German Medical Association). If I'd known that the first time around my outcome would have been even better. But even so - I have been 8months between outbreaks without meds. Also, after the first outbreak - they're not really that bad. They have no impact on my overall health, and I've only ever had 2OB in a year (that includes the first). The prejudgice of this virus is far greater than its realities. But if you take a victim mentality and do nothing about it - then they will be bad, you will hurt, and life will suck as a result. If you simply treat it with the best you got - it's a couple days of loose fitting pants and ignoring itchyness - big deal.

I think you need to look at your first impression of this man. He is honest, he matches with your needs, qualities and meets with you on an emotional level. If you are compatible in values/morals and ethics/religion then why not go for it. GH is just another form of a cold sore for those who are uneducated about it.Would you tell someone they weren't for you b/c they break out in cold sores every now and then, sometimes very rarely? AND i know many people who have GH and it isn't a daily issue, at all (unless you want to take the suppression medication). Do you think taking a daily vitamin is a daily issue to face? I don't.Honestly, the only time they think about it is if they are having an OB. The OB's aren't so bad, you just should avoid sex. Most people avoid sex at some point in their marriage for some reason or another. If you like this guy, like him for who he is, not for what he has. I am on the other end of the stick. I have GH and someone on EHis very interested in me. I am struggling on when to tell him b/c he would be the only the second person I have ever had to tell. I don't think I will tell him right away b/c GH doesn't define me. I am still the wonderful women God made me - I am honest,, good looking, educated, well-rounded, athletic and tons of fun to be around. I am a great catch. Personally, if I didn't have friends w/ GH and a future mate told me they had it and I didn't, I would probably run. I have educated myself on the subject and am familiar with many couples living with it (one, not the other, sometimes both) and know that in the large scheme of love, life and a relationship, GH is inferior to all of the other problems that occur w/ marriage or a committed relationship. SO...I wish you well in your decision. I trust that it is something you can handle. And just an fyi, but I do have a friend who can attest to that being the truth. She was a virgin (one of my many morman friends) and she met a man w/ GH. They have been married 16 years. She told me once that with all of her other issues in life, GH is NOTHING. Not even an afterthought. I say go for it, and I completely disagree with Whitman. It isn't being dishonest in not telling and it isn't deceiving - GH isn't a life sentence. I wish him well in his search:)