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What makes someone “good” at relationships? Is it possible to be adept at something such as dating or other social relationships? In fact, there is such a thing as Relational Competence (in other words, how talented someone is at initiating and maintaining a good relationship), and research has shown that people with strong relational competence have better communication and more satisfying interactions and relationships with others. Here are some of the widely identified dimensions of relational competence to help you determine your own dating IQ.
Initiating Relationships
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Personal Disclosure
If you are skillful at personal disclosure, you have no difficulty in revealing something intimate about yourself while talking with someone you are just getting to know. You can confide in people and let others get to know the “real” you. This includes disclosing things that you might be ashamed of or anxious about, but also good things such as how much you appreciate and care for another person.
Asserting Displeasure with Others
If you are skillful in this domain, you are able to tell someone that you don’t like a certain way he or she has been treating you. This includes saying “no” when you feel a request is unreasonable or you don’t want to do something. You can tell someone when they have hurt your feelings or made you angry or embarrassed, and can stand up for yourself when you have been wronged.
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