Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

About You Your healthy mind, body, and spirit play a vital role in all the important relationships of your life. Share your advice and insights here.

Reply
Page 9 of 25 « First 7 8 9 10 11 19 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
Harvey7's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,028

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
Not sure what you mean.
Were your children represented by their own legal counsel during the divorce? Where they awarded 25% of the gross income of both of their parents. If the answer was no, then both of you are liable to them.
if they would choose to litigate against the both of you. The value of child support is what the Judge says it is and the age of majority is different in each state. The two of you can not terminate their rights before reaching majority and Health Insurance is also a ditto.

Harvey7.
- November 4th, 2009, 03:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#81   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

nightling -- there is pain, there is rain. No one's ever completely sane.

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,365

See profile

PY_2 wrote :
OK I was thinking about this the other day...(about child support). If one spouse (man or woman) feels that the ex will take advantage of the child support money, what would be the downside of having provided the actual items instead of money? Or say in a different world, the system can actually specifically allocate x amount of agreeable money to rent, child's food and healthcare? Almost like a food voucher, but for the kids?

Don't rake me over the coals on this ok, I know it's a sensitive issue and I'm asking out of curiousity.

PY I think it's just not too practical. From month to month, things come up that the child needs which aren't always expected or known ahead of time. My daughter is constantly coming home with some new cheerleading expense, for example. All the fundraisers are about to break me I swear!
- November 4th, 2009, 03:51 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#82   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

nightling -- there is pain, there is rain. No one's ever completely sane.

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,365

See profile

Harvey7 wrote :
Were your children represented by their own legal counsel during the divorce? Where they awarded 25% of the gross income of both of their parents. If the answer was no, then both of you are liable to them.
if they would choose to litigate against the both of you. The value of child support is what the Judge says it is and the age of majority is different in each state. The two of you can not terminate their rights before reaching majority and Health Insurance is also a ditto.

Harvey7.
I give this post five stars. At least some of the guys here realize that the children should have some rights after we parents have brought them into this cold hard world.
- November 4th, 2009, 03:52 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#83   Reply With Quote
Can_I_just_be_Jo Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline
Can_I_just_be_Jo's Avatar

Can_I_just_be_Jo Blissfully happy!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 639

See profile

Harvey7 wrote :
Were your children represented by their own legal counsel during the divorce? Where they awarded 25% of the gross income of both of their parents. If the answer was no, then both of you are liable to them.
if they would choose to litigate against the both of you. The value of child support is what the Judge says it is and the age of majority is different in each state. The two of you can not terminate their rights before reaching majority and Health Insurance is also a ditto.

Harvey7.
My children were represented by a guardian ad litem. I am not an attorney nor do I play one on TV so I have no legal understanding of the issues. Still to tie the necessary expenses of minor children to gross income makes no sense. That would mean someone making 1mil in gross income would have to spend 250thousand on their kids. Pretty spoiled kids if you ask me. Even the IRS ties the standard to the child's actual expenses. You must pay 50% of your child's expenses to claim the child as a deduction. The spouse not taking the deduction must sign a document assigning their support to the deducting parent. Tax code, that I know.
- November 4th, 2009, 03:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#84   Reply With Quote
TiffanyDiamond TiffanyDiamond is offline
TiffanyDiamond's Avatar

TiffanyDiamond ...is feeling lonely this holiday season!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 515

See profile

alissag wrote :
My ex and I chose to come to an amicable agreement without the influence of judges or courts, we both agreed to a monthly monetary payment, and,signed papers accordingly. No one was raked over the coals or taken advantage of.

Again, I'm an exception, not the rule.
All women are not looking to bleed a man dry. I understand that some women do need support because maybe they didn't work during the marriage - whatever - I can understand that. For me I was not interested in getting money from my ex. For child support I got what was required by our state. I didn't ask for any spousal support even though I was unemployed at the time of our divorce. I had savings - enough to support myself while looking for work and I asked for no spousal support. I am a healthy, well balanced, educated person - fully capable of working and taking care of myself. I did not want a penny from him for myself - the judge even asked - I said NO! I just wanted my children taken care of.
- November 4th, 2009, 04:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#85   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

lionsfan lionsfan is offline
lionsfan's Avatar

lionsfan hopes for better weather.

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 29

See profile

My thought is, that each person divorce has it own uninqe setuation. I don't have to pay child support but, I did get hit with having to pay spousal,support. I don't get why it's called (spousal support) when we are no longer married. I can say that my ex is still trying, to get every dollar she can out of me. I tried to talk her into just about reducing the amount. She when ballistic, saying if I want to play hardball she she will play harder. So as long as men get raked of over the coals why would we not think all women take us for every thing that can get? It seem to me that some ex's forget it takes two brake the marriage just like it takes two make it. I would like to THANK ANY WOMAN, that is willing to stop taking money. From their ex when they don't really need it, and yes I'm as bitter as this sounds.
- November 4th, 2009, 05:33 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#86   Reply With Quote
chawks64 chawks64 is offline
chawks64's Avatar

chawks64 is getting very sleepy.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,951

See profile

SactoDoug wrote :
With regards to child support, yes, men want to support our children. The problem is that the courts are rigged against men. By default the courts will award custody to the woman. A man has to fight tooth and nail to get custody and often the best that can be done is joint 50-50. Since the parent with the majority of custody gets the child support it turns into a double whammy for men. They get their time with their children severely restricted and end up footing most of the bill.

With regards of how the money is spend, no woman is going to be able to convince any man that knows anything about divorce that every penny of child support is used to support the children. People roll their eyes when corporate execs have company cars, and live extravagant lives on company money. Divorced women do the same thing with child support. There is no accountability with child support so women get to spend it any way they feel fit to spend it. The corporate exes actually have more accountability for how they spend the company money than women do with child support.

Don't tell me that they never spend any of it on themselves. We are all adults here and we know BS when we see it.
But here you are, faced with story after story of women who took NO alimony, and how the child support didn't even come close to covering half the expense of raising the kids. Do you think maybe myself and other caring women would tire of the assumptions and take a hike? A woman can only defend herself from stereotypes for so long, and then she just gives up. Then you're stuck with exactly the type of women you've been complaining about. They're not offended because they believe women deserve to rake a man over the coals.

Can't you see how it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Personally, I got undisputed custody because my ex was an alcoholic and CHOSE to rarely participate in any parenting until we were divorced. We had no viable visitation schedule because he could see them whenever he wanted. I never once said no, though the kids did a couple of times. His parents were given the same consideration. Even though it meant I spent most holidays alone, it was the right thing to do.

My cars were junk, I lived in crummy apartments, I worked fulltime then came home, cooked dinner and helped with homework... yeah, really living the high life off of the child support.
- November 4th, 2009, 05:36 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#87   Reply With Quote
sabete2002 sabete2002 is offline
sabete2002's Avatar

sabete2002 I was modded???!!!!

Veteran

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,191

See profile

chawks64 wrote :
But here you are, faced with story after story of women who took NO alimony, and how the child support didn't even come close to covering half the expense of raising the kids. Do you think maybe myself and other caring women would tire of the assumptions and take a hike? A woman can only defend herself from stereotypes for so long, and then she just gives up. Then you're stuck with exactly the type of women you've been complaining about. They're not offended because they believe women deserve to rake a man over the coals.

Can't you see how it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Personally, I got undisputed custody because my ex was an alcoholic and CHOSE to rarely participate in any parenting until we were divorced. We had no viable visitation schedule because he could see them whenever he wanted. I never once said no, though the kids did a couple of times. His parents were given the same consideration. Even though it meant I spent most holidays alone, it was the right thing to do.

My cars were junk, I lived in crummy apartments, I worked fulltime then came home, cooked dinner and helped with homework... yeah, really living the high life off of the child support.
Thanks for this. I'll be honest, this thread has upset me a great deal. Not angry just sad that you and I and others here are just lumped together because some women choose the scorched earth policy. I guess some people see one brown cow so all cows are brown.

It makes me wonder if men and women (generally speaking) really dislike or distrust each other based on past experiences. Who pays on dates, when to call, looking for red flags etc. etc. is it any wonder we are all single? So many threads I have read recently seem to focus on the negatives. We seem to have lost the ability to see the good in each other and value that while acknowledging we are all flawed.

Ack, this is off track. I'm just tired of defending those of us who aren't the stereotpye. At the end of the day, I know my reality and I am ok with it. Those who have an opinion about it without knowing or caring to know the facts, are not my concern.

Night all.
- November 4th, 2009, 09:30 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#88   Reply With Quote
mari3434 mari3434 is offline
mari3434's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 106

See profile

I practice law in Canada...and I can say in principle, the Court's primary focus is what is the "best interests of the children" and not the parents. I do not believe it is the Court that loses sight of this principle, but rather the feuding parties.
- November 4th, 2009, 11:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#89   Reply With Quote
lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 1,027

See profile

mari3434 wrote :
As a matrimonial lawyer, it is interesting and surprising to view people's opinions on child support. I am amazed that many people have confused the issue of child support with spousal support payments - completely different legal issues. Seeking child support has nothing to do with being a "gold digger" or lazy! Simply put, the Court certainly would not view child support in this way.
yes, well, i'd say there are plenty of gold diggers "confusing" child support with spousal support.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#90   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 9 of 25 « First 7 8 9 10 11 19 Last »

Bookmarks

« What talent do you WISH you had? | Array | The Three Cs of Great Sex »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Shall I call, email, or not? funnyengineergal Dating 65 October 6th, 2009 09:56 pm
To Call or Not to Call islandrain80 Dating 9 September 15th, 2009 03:38 pm
Secure call is worthless to buy passat1 Using eHarmony 0 August 16th, 2009 11:44 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“And if you said thanks honey, I'll pass on the movie, call me after the movie and maybe I'll come bye! Do this for a week or two and he will want to have a heart to heart talk with you, about ... ” – Harvey7

Join the “Conflict over TV/movie habits.” discussion

“Sexy women have a lot of charisma. Relationships, that sounds about right. Ouch I sound that bad eh. It's been a long trail. Other poster-he insulted men too? What in Arkansas did he say to ... ” – roguewolf1

Join the “Men Have All the Power” discussion

“I have read through some of the men's responses and see how we've changed societally since my dad was the sole supporter. I wouldn't ask financial questions the first date but ambition questions yes. ... ” – recyclerdave

Join the “Does a woman's financial well being, profession, and wage matter to the men?” discussion

“ A lot better than I thought it would, actually lol They were in the express line with a really large full cart. It was painfully obvious. Yeah. I guess things can always get worse. I could ... ” – j0hn8andy

Join the “Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line?” discussion

“I have two family members with celiac, so we've made a lot of accomodations as a family for that. It really hasn't been that difficult, though, since there are so many resources out there now for ... ” – neardc

Join the “Living Gluten Free” discussion

“I like to wrassle with elephants, race ants and swing from vines. Also I climbed Mt Everest on my lunch break while writing a 7,000 page thesis for Al Gore. When I'm not reading the whole law ... ” – roguewolf1

Join the “To Be Interesting, Have Some Interests” discussion

“ LOOK OUT!” – PY_2

Join the “Ten Days Of Gratitude - Days 5 and 6” discussion

“ lol i was just pulling your leg. Looks like you guys had a great time. Relax. Just enjoy it.” – PY_2

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:09 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0