Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Ask a Dating Expert See what our experts have to say, and then weigh in with your own advice. This discussion board is a great place to discover the wisdom of the group.

Reply
Page 4 of 4 « First 2 3 4
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Mugsy Mugsy is offline
Mugsy's Avatar

Mugsy Pondering, pondering....

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 14

See profile

I agree with Sassafrass on this. The only complicating factor here is the fact that he's invited you to stay at his place. I'm sure there's a nice hotel nearby where you could stay for a night for a very reasonable price. Then you can put all of your attention to re-connecting with him and having fun; and not on whether or not he is expecting "to get into your pants."
- November 5th, 2009, 03:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#31   Reply With Quote
heartbreaker1284 heartbreaker1284 is offline
heartbreaker1284's Avatar

heartbreaker1284 is ready for this weekend adventure.

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 12

See profile

imbricated wrote :
Not knowing whether its platonic or not can be half the fun. It sounds like you know him well enough that there's not much of a chance for romantic tension to become unwelcome panic.

Just keep a busy schedule OUTSIDE of his house and bring ugly, opaque pajamas. The pajamas alone should send a clear enough signal, and should things change for the better they can always come off!

Don't stress it or you'll likely ruin it. Just go and enjoy the trip.

Love it! I couldn't agree more and besides your comment made me laugh... I don't know if I own ugly PJ's but I'll get some before I leave! Thank you.
- November 5th, 2009, 03:13 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#32   Reply With Quote
notyet notyet is offline
notyet's Avatar

notyet it's alive!

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,225

See profile

Lilycat wrote :
...Remember that you have to trust someone some time or you lose the ability......
+1
- November 5th, 2009, 03:50 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#33   Reply With Quote
alissag alissag is offline
alissag's Avatar

alissag Life's not about weathering the storm but learning to dance in the rain!

Pacesetter

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 266

See profile

heartbreaker1284 wrote :
Icon - I actually decided after reading this that it is in my best interest to address it with him beforehand because on my terms it is a platonic visit. I like your idea and I think I can do it tactfully or at least put some humor behind it!
As long as you can have open communication with him about it prior to your visit, then you're covered. Just be upfront and honest with him.

Recently, an old college friend of mine, of the opposite sex, came into town for work. We planned to spend time together while he was here and he planned an extended stay for that to happen. He was going to stay at a hotel near me but I told him he was more than welcome to stay at my place. However, I made sure to discuss the arrangements with him beforehand. That's the way I work, I talk about things. And, just because I invite someone to stay at my house (or vice versa) does not a sxual invitation make. Now, if I knew he had a romantic interest in me, but I didn't feel the same, I would not have extended the invite, just to assure there were no mixed messages or false hope.

Sounds like you're taking the necessary steps to ensure you haven't mislead him. And, if you decide you want your visit to go down that road, then take off them ugly PJ's!

Looking forward to hearing about your trip... Good luck and have a fabulous time!
- November 5th, 2009, 04:16 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#34   Reply With Quote
Ephemera Ephemera is offline
Ephemera's Avatar

Ephemera is gathering leaves one at a time.

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 123

See profile

Youz all a-crazy!! Bring your chocolate brown sparkly teddie and the matching lace thong and do it for all of us that wish we were off for a weekend of sex. You wastin' it girl! You think you gonna be all hot and young forever?!
- November 5th, 2009, 04:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#35   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

imbricated imbricated is offline
imbricated's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 17

See profile

I don't know if I would bring it up with him before you go. It could come across as "now let's be clear that I'm coming down as a platonic friend, because if you're expecting anything else that would be just totally gross"... or..."I see what you're trying to do, I bet you do this sort of thing with all the office tail"...or..."if I found you remotely attractive I wouldn't have to say this, but"...

Basically I can't see a way that getting all your security boundaries in place before you see him could be perceived as a positive or romantic, from his perspective. And if I'm not mistaken, you are interested in him.

For my part, I never assume I'm going to get any action off of any woman I date, regardless of the circumstances. Always hope of course, but never assume. Hoping is generally considered cute and sexy, assuming; not so much. Spontaneous fun, whether sex is involved or not, is pretty hard to come by and easily mucked up.

You're smart, pretty, confident and female: you're in control already. Just go, trust your instincts and have fun.
- November 5th, 2009, 04:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#36   Reply With Quote
Jato87 Jato87 is offline
Jato87's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 378

See profile

heartbreaker1284 wrote :
Love it! ... I don't know if I own ugly PJ's but I'll get some before I leave! Thank you.
=================================

If you've been married before, you surely have some already. They're mentioned as a standard clause in every divorce petition. Generally in the form of a long flannel nightgown.
- November 6th, 2009, 03:50 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#37   Reply With Quote
6dle899 6dle899 is offline
6dle899's Avatar

6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 3,764

See profile

Jato87 wrote :
=================================

If you've been married before, you surely have some already. They're mentioned as a standard clause in every divorce petition. Generally in the form of a long flannel nightgown.

The OP
stated in post #1 that she got married last year and the divorce was final this year.
- November 6th, 2009, 04:21 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#38   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 4 of 4 « First 2 3 4

Bookmarks

« What the heck is this?? I really got hurt.... | Array | What to do!!!!! »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How/when do I approach the topic of my first marriage? Orangepeel Dating 27 October 29th, 2009 09:09 pm
Dinner with a friend or a date? ohiossteacher Dating 19 October 13th, 2009 03:53 pm
Should I still approach her? fas82 Ask a Dating Expert 1 October 2nd, 2009 11:01 am
The light is green enough but I need help to approach her! 6dle899 Dating 19 July 29th, 2009 05:37 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Happy&Light Is this the same boyfriend who is "stern" with you? You created a thread last summer? He was yelling so much at you parking in the wrong spot that he made you cry at dinner in the ... ” – j0hn8andy

Join the “Conflict over TV/movie habits.” discussion

“Also, keep in mind that many guys (myself included) have gone out with women where everything was fine until he pays her the first compliment. It's possible that the lesson he took was "Don't ... ” – Oregon_Coast_Guy

Join the “My boyfriend never compliments me, but compliments others” discussion

“Hey, I've only been seeing this new guy for a couple of weeks. Before that, it was 2 guys in a row that just didn't like to kiss, and nothing before that. Yes, I brush my teeth. ” – chawks64

Join the “Is everyone but me dating?” discussion

“I SAY IT'S BEST THAT.....THIS JUST MY VIEW POINT...... I PERSONALLY BEEN THEIR AND THINGS DONOT ALWAYS GET BETTER.. AND I THINK YOU ALREADY HAD SOME THINGS THAT YOU DONOT WANT TO FACE RIGHT NOW.. ... ” – misswright

Join the “Stay in or get out?????” discussion

“I can totally relate to you. I've only been on 2 dates with this guy, but we spent 7 hours together yesterday and it was awesome. I already feel like I'm starting to like him alot and it scares me. ... ” – Andrea8823

Join the “Can you prevent yourself from falling for someone?” discussion

“I'm dating a man I met at work right now. When I first started with the company, we were flirting back and forth for a few weeks, and then I asked him out. He turned me down. Fast forward 2 years, ... ” – bigfincat

Join the “I'm attracted to independent women” discussion

“oh if a girl forgets to hug me at the end of our date, i would think she's not interested. I think he's thinking the same thing!!! oh what was I gonna say..oh yeah, don't be too paranoid!! you ... ” – Andrea8823

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“it may not be able to be commercialized but i just purchased three times the food i normally do! ditto, on the prayer warrior.” – notyet

Join the “This is the Day !” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:54 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0