So what do you say to the person, who didn't want the divorce, requested marriage counseling, and yet the other party just says no? There are 2 people in a marriage, just because someone is divorced doesn't mean they were the "quitter".

Once when I was a teenager I shoplifted. Got caught. I've NEVER done it again. Once a shoplifter always a shoplifter? I don't think so. Would I steal food if my kids were starving and I had no money? Maybe. But I am not a thief. When I was a young adult I got drunk - many times. Did I get caught or in serious trouble? No. But I did get sick. Now I don't drink at all. Once a drunk, always a drunk? I don't think so.

Personal experience though, makes me frightened of those who see things so black and white (once a cheater, always a cheater). I dated a pathological, abusive man for a while. Note: We were never married. He accused me of cheating on a daily basis (my clothing was too revealing, I was too "nice" to the water). Cheater was the "printable" name he called me (w*****, s***, etc. were more common). I never cheated! I found that those who go on and on about "cheaters" likely have a "control" issue and a deep-seated insecurity (signs of an abusive individual). Did he cheat? Don't know, don't care. I do know he had no problem openly degrading, ridiculing and hurting me. I won't be in a relationship like that. If I would have been married I STILL would have left (and cheating would have never been the issue except in his warped mind).

People do change, learn and grow.

However you're in charge of only one person. YOU. Be moral, honest and trustworthy. That's your choice - it's who you want to be. But so many people sound like they use fidelity as a form of imprisonment/control over someone else (particularly those who aren't even married). I hope I never end up with a holier than thou "once a cheater/divorcee always a cheater/divorcee" type - if someone doesn't treat you with respect and honesty that says it all - you're better off without them.