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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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In a word: yes. Honesty may be best the policy, but that doesn’t mean you should tell it all. Learn what should be aired and what shouldn’t.
- March 10th, 2008, 06:17 pm
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robert2008 robert2008 is offline
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I'd sum it up by saying that this is about striking a mature balance between four competing values:
  1. Honesty
  2. Forthrightness
  3. Tact
  4. Privacy
- March 10th, 2008, 06:31 pm
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chrlesmd chrlesmd is offline
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robert2008 wrote :

I'd sum it up by saying that this is about striking a mature balance between four competing values:
  1. Honesty
  2. Forthrightness
  3. Tact
  4. Privacy
Good point. But, in the end, if someone asks you a question, you should be entirely forthright even if it may embarrass you or prevent you from getting another date. Telling them a portion of the truth doesn't equate to being honest.
- March 10th, 2008, 06:37 pm
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Aussie_in_USA Aussie_in_USA is offline
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I dated a guy who had a really ugly jacket. He was a very nice (and really cute) guy, but the jacket was something from the Top Gun era and he was dressing with clothes his ex-wife purchased for him.

All my friends knew him as Maverick; my secret nickname for him. BUT... one of his friends told him how ugly the jacket was, and it was amazing it wasn't me, however Maverick became irate. Instead of taking it in stride, he was upset and too fragile to take constructive criticism. It's not like he was told he had halitosis; it was something easily fixable, he just didn't want to hear.

So, I'm all for honesty, but it has to come at the right time and right place. Preferably in private where one can't/won't feel ridiculed.

- March 10th, 2008, 06:41 pm
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BILLGOLF BILLGOLF is offline
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BILLGOLF Easter 2009 at church

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This points out why one of the MUST HAVES is adapability. Some folks do not want adapt to the reality of situations. Maverick loves that jacket to others can take a hike if they no like!. If you are unwaveringly honest when an opinion is sought you often cause hurt feelings. Like the question" HONEY, DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?" Honesty here can put a crimp on your love life.
- March 10th, 2008, 07:43 pm
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cat_pat_1972 cat_pat_1972 is offline
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robert2008 wrote :

I'd sum it up by saying that this is about striking a mature balance between four competing values:
  1. Honesty
  2. Forthrightness
  3. Tact
  4. Privacy
Agree. Key word, "competing." And, my friend, timing is everything!
- March 10th, 2008, 09:33 pm
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ucmecucme ucmecucme is offline
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When is too much honesty too much honesty? If the need for that piece of honesty isnt going to be a problem in 5 years time - is it a problem now? can it wait? does it even rate the importance of a mention?

My friends had a code name for an old friend - "Dead Man" - because he didnt even have a pulse about important issues and agreed with what everyone said. Was this honest or dishonest? Were we honest or dishonest with him when he was a great guy and fun to be around.

When does airing it all become appropriate? When does even airing it become someone else's business to actually reach for answers when being honest with someone may in fact be really insulting to yourself because you are over that portion of your life and want to move on?

JJ
- March 10th, 2008, 10:11 pm
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argytunes argytunes is offline
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HONESTY is a good thing providing your vocal approach isn't overly vicious or sarcastic.

It's amazing how both sexes can easily accept or reject a suggestion based on the tone of a person's voice!

argytunes
- March 11th, 2008, 04:41 am
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Dan 813 Dan 813 is offline
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On matters like this, I like to live by the old proverb " don't cast your pearls before swine" Given time in friendships, relationships, etc. you will know who is safe to guard your secrets and who may eventually use things against you..Just my humble opinion..
- March 12th, 2008, 07:52 am
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Eugeneus Eugeneus is offline
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Most people will agree that in any given situation "there's always a good reason to lie." However, I feel that there is never a GOOD ENOUGH reason to lie -- about ANYTHING.

Fundamentally, there are Liars and "Truth Sayers" -- no in-betweens. Once you've taken the personal oath to stand on the Truth as a way of life, then you'll understand that there is never a good enough reason to lie, or withhold the truth, or tell a twisted version of the partial truth, etc... There will always be occasions where it's EASIER, more COMVENIENT, more EXPEDIENT, more ADVANTAGIOUS, more COMPASSIONATE or CONSIDERATE, etc to NOT tell the whole, unadulterated truth -- (and one may slip up and tell a lie anyway, as we all are human and do make undesirable mistakes).

But - I repeat: Once you've taken the personal oath to stand on the Truth as a way of life, then you'll easily understand and accept that there is never a GOOD ENOUGH reason to tell a lie in any of its many forms.

Sad to say, but I personally detest the portion of this article that not only okays telling lies, but goes so far as to encourage it! Wowww! I'm not a religious nut or anything, but in a subtle way, this is the equivalent of the anti-church in that it goes directly against one of the fundamental teachings of most (if not all) churches -- that of being HONEST.

E. 0803121039c

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- March 12th, 2008, 09:37 am
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