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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
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beautifulgenius I wish that week could have lasted forever :)

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cappagirl wrote :

wittykitty wrote :


cappagirl, I am sorry to say this but you come across even on this board as a little bit desperate. Did you also tell this guy that you are 28 and all your friends are already married and having babies? Because that one thing might have freaked him out even before you met. He might have been putting meeting in person off because of that. And maybe that other girl was much more easygoing. You really need to change your perspective on this baby thing. Perhaps it is a pre-30-freaking-out that you are suffering from and I can tell you it will pass once you pass 30. Do you live in a sparsely populated area in Canada? Move to a big city! Ignore your married friends a bit and make new single ones that don't worry about getting married and having babies asap! (If I were you I still would go and meet the guy, just out of curiosity. But only if you make up your mind that you won't consider him a romantic interest anymore and stick with it. Maybe you can learn a few things about YOURSELF by talking to him.)


Glider P, that is such a great idea to start a meetup group based on this eharmony-advice. THat is like a singles club without all the stigmas that are usually attached to such clubs! How many members do you have? Can cappagirl attend next time she is in the area? Please, take her in


No kitty- I didn't even mention my friends or babies when we first started talking. I'm not like that. Just because I want something SO bad...I never potray that to a new match. Thats dating-suicide.
No..I do live in a big city so no need to move here. I'm just not one for going out to clubs/pubs to meet people. So it makes it difficult as I don't have many single friends and there aren't too many situations that I'm in whereI could meet someone. Hence the reason I've resorted to online dating.

I did end up having him over last night (maybe not a smart idea...I still dont know)...He wanted to apologize in person for the way he had treated me. He then gave me insight as to what he felt for this other girl...and it had nothing to do with her being more easygoing than me. They both grew up on farms and have A LOT in common. Thats just something I can't compete with and Im not going to try. But it didn't help that after we met...he indicated that there was a spark between us. He wasn't going to lie...but the spark and everything else was just that much more with her. And I found out that he had been talking to her for nearly 6 months. So as difficult as it was to see him and hear all of this...I respect where he's coming from and I bowed out. NOT what I wanted to do AT ALL...because the feelings I felt for him were just confirmed when we met last night. But I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. And as hard as it is to let him go...I have to. It's clearly not meant to be.

I was wondering if you were going to agree to go out with him or not. Good for you!! At least you found out the truth about what's been going on for the last 6 months. I wasn't totally surprised that he had been seeing someone else while talking to you. That seems to be the "norm" on these online dating sites. I've had the experience that, even though I don't see more than one person at a time, that the guys that I get to know on here, do. I don't know why, either. I personally think that, that's kind of chessy. In real life dating, I believe you shouldn't be dating a lot of different people at the same time, and the same rule should apply on, online dating as well. But how are you going to know, unless they admit to it.


Anyways, good luck!!

- January 15th, 2009, 09:09 am
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inlovewithhim2 wrote :

I was wondering if you were going to agree to go out with him or not. Good for you!! At least you found out the truth about what's been going on for the last 6 months. I wasn't totally surprised that he had been seeing someone else while talking to you. That seems to be the "norm" on these online dating sites. I've had the experience that, even though I don't see more than one person at a time, that the guys that I get to know on here, do. I don't know why, either. I personally think that, that's kind of chessy. In real life dating, I believe you shouldn't be dating a lot of different people at the same time, and the same rule should apply on, online dating as well. But how are you going to know, unless they admit to it.


Anyways, good luck!!

Ya- I guess I'm kind of glad i met with him and got to hear everything. And he really could have been a jerk and poofed all-together. But he still took the time to come see me and tell me his side.
But actually - he had only JUST met her last weekend. He had met her on eH and been talking off and on for 6 months...but they never met until recently. He admitted that right up until the very night he spilled everything to me...he had every intention on meeting me still. But when she pursued him for a 2nd date...he realized that he wanted to give it a full shot with her....hence coming forward to me an being honest. So ya..like I said...I respect him for that...it still just SUCKS!!! But i have to let him go....and in a way im kind of glad i have no choice in the matter because it has been made for me.
- January 15th, 2009, 10:56 am
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Cappa,


So if his other relationship doesn't work out (and believe me the possibility is REAL) would you go on a date with him? Or is it over?
- January 15th, 2009, 01:09 pm
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My moderated post has finally shown up on page 3! any idea what I said to get it moderated?
- January 15th, 2009, 01:32 pm
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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
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I still say it was a good decision. But has it brought closure?? You sound like you might give him a second chance if he decides that she's not the one or vice versa. Are you??
- January 15th, 2009, 02:11 pm
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StatGamer wrote :

My moderated post has finally shown up on page 3! any idea what I said to get it moderated?
I just learned something. Who is the Overseer? My post came up late too. Didn't know there was a moderatpr. Big Bro is watchin'. And cappagirl, If a comet strikes the earth and only you and this guy that hurt ya are left.... Maybe then give him a second chance... but make him sweat it for a bit.

Otherwise giving second chances is not a good idea.

I do not want to be somebody's back up plan. I don't want to tell someone again "if things don't work out... give me a call". I did that. At least twice before. But NOT in a long long time.

Be strong. Believe in yourself too. The picture you have posted... you look GREAT... There are many, many guys who would be overjoyed to have a chance to date someone like you who is so obviously attractive and shows such a willingness to "share their heart".
- January 15th, 2009, 04:15 pm
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tkaster wrote :

I do not want to be somebody's back up plan. I don't want to tell someone again "if things don't work out... give me a call". I did that. At least twice before. But NOT in a long long time.
Oh, that does look SO desperate. Even if you're thinking it, don't say it. "May I please be your #2 choice if you get dumped?"


- January 15th, 2009, 05:09 pm
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StatGamer wrote :

Trust me, I know how hard this is. I had to break up Monday night with someone I really cared about. It hurts every time




Sorry to hear that, StatGamer.


- January 15th, 2009, 05:11 pm
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cappagirl wrote :

No kitty- I didn't even mention my friends or babies when we first started talking. I'm not like that. Just because I want something SO bad...I never potray that to a new match. Thats dating-suicide.
No..I do live in a big city so no need to move here. I'm just not one for going out to clubs/pubs to meet people. So it makes it difficult as I don't have many single friends and there aren't too many situations that I'm in whereI could meet someone. Hence the reason I've resorted to online dating.

I did end up having him over last night (maybe not a smart idea...I still dont know)...He wanted to apologize in person for the way he had treated me. He then gave me insight as to what he felt for this other girl...and it had nothing to do with her being more easygoing than me. They both grew up on farms and have A LOT in common. Thats just something I can't compete with and Im not going to try. But it didn't help that after we met...he indicated that there was a spark between us. He wasn't going to lie...but the spark and everything else was just that much more with her. And I found out that he had been talking to her for nearly 6 months. So as difficult as it was to see him and hear all of this...I respect where he's coming from and I bowed out. NOT what I wanted to do AT ALL...because the feelings I felt for him were just confirmed when we met last night. But I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. And as hard as it is to let him go...I have to. It's clearly not meant to be.
Cappagirl, I am cheering for you and your courage to meet him and resolve a lot of issues for once and all. So he is a nice, decent guy, after all. Did that restore your faith in men? I hope it did. In addition, consider yourself lucky that he met this girl before you! Imagine, how much harder it would be for you to let him go if you had started to develop a romance in person with him, only to find out later that he has so much more common with the other girl (clearly, you can't compete with that). You also realized that you are not a failure at dating, it was just sheer luck or lack of it that things turned out this way. You are also able to find a nice guy on the internet, and your instincts didn't fail you - he turned out just as what you imagined while still corresponding with him. You see, so many things are working already in your favour in this big dating universe...


As for StatGamer's suggestion: he might have been left wondering about you but you would have been left wondering about just so much more, considering your infatuation with him. When mysteries are resolved, we find it so much easier to get over them. I say, well-done! You'll find someone more compatible, I am sure. If you want to increase your dating success rate, sign up to as many dating websites as you can handle.


- January 15th, 2009, 05:19 pm
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SactoDoug SactoDoug is offline
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I am a single man and I'm indecent. Want to have a e-relationship?
- January 15th, 2009, 05:20 pm
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