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HopefullLeigh HopefullLeigh is offline
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I have a question. Lately I have had a run of a few first and second dates that seem to go very, very well, with great conversation, laughter, light physical contact, like hand touching, even a nice kiss sometimes, nothing hot and heavy just pleasant. We acknowledge that we had a great time and want to see each other again, he says he'll call, then he just vanishes. Like, permantently, even when I followup a few days later with a light text message like, "Hope you're having a great day and that we'll see each other again". And I have been reading these message boards for a while so I know it happens to others, not just me. Why do some men do this? Why can't they just say, "you know what, I changed my mind" or "I met someone else". Is it that they don't want to hurt us, or do they just not care enough to say a proper goodbye?


It would be very nice to hear your take on this Steve because I read the article about you here on this site and I think a lot of what you said makes good sense.
- March 4th, 2009, 01:09 pm
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magnoliawine magnoliawine is offline
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Ok, Steve, so I have not read your book yet, but I did like the article I read and I saw you on TV and it looks good so I'll be getting it soon. I would like to know, what are your thoughts on pornography in relationships. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, we have discussed marriage.


He really enjoys pornography, we have talked about it but honestly I think it's stupid. It just does not appeal to me, I know some people like it but I'm not one of them. I have no problem if he looks at it his own but he has said that we should be able to enjoy it as a couple. He keeps bringing it up and I keep telling him I'm just not interested, I don't care if he looks at it, I just don't want to.


It got so bad that the other day he called me a prude and we had our first big fight (other than this issue we get along very well).


Should I be concerned about this? Do you think it's normal for porn to be that important to someone, that they would allow it to hurt someone they love? I am starting to think that maybe he has a problem, but he's such a normal, nice guy otherwise. I'm just really confused, please let me know what you think.
- March 4th, 2009, 02:49 pm
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NotSoOldGuy NotSoOldGuy is offline
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Hi Steve big fan here I have not read your books but I like your standup comedy alot. Anyways on to my question, I’m a 46 year old guy. I was married for 20 years, and find myself back on the dating scene…and I’m really lost. I’ve lost my mojo. I’m intimidated. Walking up to a woman in public terrifies me. I don’t know what to do, or what to say or how to say it. The few times I get up some nerve I trip all over my tongue and its so embarassing. I have always been a really outgoing person but the idea of dating after so long has all but crippled me. Do you have any advice for getting my confidence back?
- March 4th, 2009, 03:14 pm
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Carley1067 Carley1067 is offline
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I read your book, and I agree with much of what you have to say…except regarding sex. You ask us to withhold sex for 90 days at the beginning of a relationship. But what about sexual compatibility? I don’t want to waste 3 months dating a guy only to find out that we aren’t compatible in the bedroom. I can see not sleeping together very early in a relationship, but at a certain point it is a question that needs an answer.
- March 4th, 2009, 03:32 pm
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NotSoOldGuy NotSoOldGuy is offline
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Magnoliawine if you don't mind me saying so that is awfully disrespectful of him. He is just lucky to have a girlfriend who lets him have porn, many ladys I know wouldn't even allow that.


Sorry but that is just my 2cents.
- March 4th, 2009, 03:49 pm
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lushouslicious lushouslicious is offline
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Hi Steve,

My question for you is simple (or maybe not, ha!). But, can you be too picky? My standards are high, and some friends say they are sky high and that I'll never find what I'm looking for. I think I deserve a man that is extremely successful, attractive, smart and a gentlemen. I’ve had three of the four, but I won’t settle so I’m still alone. What do you think? Should I re-think my standards?

xoxo
Lush
- March 4th, 2009, 03:58 pm
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audreyh127 audreyh127 is offline
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Hi steve I saw on Oprah and I can't wait for her to bring you back on the show where you can be the only guest for that episode, I give up I think the only way I will find a respectfull decent man is if I created him myself, you know you mention on the show that we should not lowere our standard but I think is what you fail to realize that if we don't lower our standard the creep will just move on to someone else that is lowering her standard finding love has been a very dificult journey and to tell you the truth I really hate to throw in the towel as they say but If and I repeat IF there is any good man out there they have all been taken. I just don't see man respecting ladies for who they are any more either they are not pretty enough or they are not skinny enough real man are far and few between.
- March 4th, 2009, 08:47 pm
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OMGIam50 OMGIam50 is offline
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :








In his new book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man , Steve Harvey reveals what men really think about love, relationships and commitment -- and how women can tell if they have a man with whom they can make plans, or a man who is just playing with them.


Post your dating or relationship question for Steve Harvey here.
Hi Steve,


Friday I saw you on Oprah, bought & read your book on Saturday, went on a date on Sunday. We had a great time, I followed all of your advice (at least I believe I did) and here it is Thursday and I haven't heard a murmur from my date.


I keep returning to your book for strength, but I have to wonder what I did? Or is he a sportfisher?
- March 5th, 2009, 05:45 am
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rozel2 rozel2 is offline
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magnoliawine wrote :

Ok, Steve, so I have not read your book yet, but I did like the article I read and I saw you on TV and it looks good so I'll be getting it soon. I would like to know, what are your thoughts on pornography in relationships. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, we have discussed marriage.


He really enjoys pornography, we have talked about it but honestly I think it's stupid. It just does not appeal to me, I know some people like it but I'm not one of them. I have no problem if he looks at it his own but he has said that we should be able to enjoy it as a couple. He keeps bringing it up and I keep telling him I'm just not interested, I don't care if he looks at it, I just don't want to.


It got so bad that the other day he called me a prude and we had our first big fight (other than this issue we get along very well).


Should I be concerned about this? Do you think it's normal for porn to be that important to someone, that they would allow it to hurt someone they love? I am starting to think that maybe he has a problem, but he's such a normal, nice guy otherwise. I'm just really confused, please let me know what you think.
Let me tell you Magnoliawine. life is beautifull, life is not aboutpornography. This guy needs help. I was on ehamorny for quite some time and I have dated so many woman some of them are crazy and some of them are very nice andact like a real lady and think like a lady. they were telling me all kind of stories. one of the storiessounds exactly like yours and the good news is that. We have so many trees in life and they all got a different name(mango trees, coconut trees,palm trees etc). we're all called man, obviously with thesame biological constitution but different life style, different philosophy, believesetc.


This guy is only about sex and, that raise a red flag. trust me he is not worthy. I am man and I shall tell you the true about my men. I was blessed enough to fine my fiancee throough Eharmony, I proposed to her 3 months after we metand we expect to get married sometime next year. I live in Albany NY and she live inCT 3 hrs drive. trust me God has something for you let him go- you need a man that is going to adore you, love you and respect you for who you are. not for sexual pleasure and what type of sex you can bring into the relationship. my friend text him or calland say to him Go luck in you search-because you guys are not a match).


Please keep me posted.


Joe
- March 5th, 2009, 08:29 am
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rozel2 rozel2 is offline
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HopefullLeigh wrote :

I have a question. Lately I have had a run of a few first and second dates that seem to go very, very well, with great conversation, laughter, light physical contact, like hand touching, even a nice kiss sometimes, nothing hot and heavy just pleasant. We acknowledge that we had a great time and want to see each other again, he says he'll call, then he just vanishes. Like, permantently, even when I followup a few days later with a light text message like, "Hope you're having a great day and that we'll see each other again". And I have been reading these message boards for a while so I know it happens to others, not just me. Why do some men do this? Why can't they just say, "you know what, I changed my mind" or "I met someone else". Is it that they don't want to hurt us, or do they just not care enough to say a proper goodbye?


It would be very nice to hear your take on this Steve because I read the article about you here on this site and I think a lot of what you said makes good sense.
As a man I feel ashamed of myself when other man screwed up. but the good news is that we are all called man but we are different in term of philosophy, respect, attitude, maner etc same situation exist in woman. certain guys will enjoy keep you waiting or in standby so if their current situation changed they will have a contingency plan. and thats bad, I know it because my brother has done it before.


Let me tell me you he has to find time for you on a weekly basis- HopefullLeighdo not to be his weekend girl or vagabond, make it clear to him that you are looking for a rear realationship where you want to spend some quality time with him if hes willing to that great if not be strong and honnest toward each other "Just say goodbye"


God Luck my dear! Remember, be strong and don't take any Sugar HoneyIce Tea from no man


Keep me posted,


Joe
- March 5th, 2009, 08:49 am
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LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/dating/20618-q-and-author-and-comedian-steve-harvey.html
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Q&A with author and comedian STEVE HARVEY! - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards – eHarmony Advice This thread Refback May 17th, 2009 10:28 pm

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