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kiki____2 kiki____2 is offline
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sThere has to be attraction to something with a match. A smile, a curl on the forehead, scent,


color of eyes, physicality, tone of voice, cuteness or uniqueness of face. There just has to be


something or there is no chemistry and it isn't going to come later.


KiKi____2
- April 13th, 2009, 08:05 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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EMTZ wrote :

When in doubt, I usually ask myself "What will my reaction be if he touches me?" and go from there
Do you take into account decreased reaction time from drinking??





For the OP, if it was me and I liked the guy personally I would go on another date. (I was not physically attracted to my ex when we first met but he did grow on me.) But once you get to the point that you know you are not going to be attracted to this guy no matter how much time you spend getting to know him then I think it is time to fess up and not go out any more.
- April 13th, 2009, 08:47 pm
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wittykitty wittykitty is offline
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Are there ways he could improve his looks? Like going to the gym, losing weight? Or putting more effort into his way of dressing? Better haircut? Does he smell good? And by the latter I don't mean if he is smelly or clean. There was a famous experiment once at Yale when girls where given T-shirts of guys worn for 3 days. One of them was from their boyfriend. When the girls had to pick the T-shirt they liked the smell most, they tended to pick the T-shirt that belonged to their boyfriend. (The experiment might have been done for guys smelling girls' T-shirts, too, I am not sure. Not many girls are willing to wear the same T-shirt for 3 days in a row, I guess :-) )


While it might remain subconscious and us never becoming aware of it, our choices are definitely influenced by our noses. So next time try to get close enough to get a wiff of the guy.
- April 15th, 2009, 03:23 pm
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lucky173 lucky173 is offline
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Shads wrote :

kiki____2 wrote :


mab1123, wrote :


I recently met this guy and we've been talking on the internet for a couple of weeks now. We finally met in person for the first time this weekend. In therory he's everything I've been looking for. But the problem is, that he's not the best looking guy in the world. I'm not exactly model material but (not to sound stuck up) I would still consider myself ummmm....above him in the looks department. He's really someone I can be comfortable around and I want this to work! My question is....Can someone learn to be attracted to someone? Is this something a person can learn to live with over time? Or is this a lost cause? Please help me. What sould I do?


DDear Mab: You have my sympathies. I went thru a similar meeting only much worse. We had been talking on the phone and his voice was very attractive. However, after meeting him his beer belly, deafness and bad teeth were more than I could get past. In reality, a smile, a curl, color of eyes, scent, physicality are all part of attraction. If none of those things can change then it a "no go" for me. Reality: a pot belly just doesn't "work" when it comes to doing it either. Not even the biggest can make that jump!


Good luck with your search. Don't give up. I now ask questions first: Like: Do you go to a gym? How much do you weigh? Are you really 6'4"? Do you run? Are there any health issues you currently have ie. Emphasema? Is 62 your actual age? Can I see you Drivers Licence? Are you sexually active? Diseasefree? They may seem blunt but it cuts thru the BS waste of time.


KiKi (67Yrs.old)


EAXACTLY!!!!!.......... I always demand photos from all sides and ask questions.
This is slightly off topic here, but I'm just curious to know how people have reacted to being asked for their drivers licenses, or their personal medical history? Or having demands placed on them for photos from all angles? Is it safe to assume that either (or both) of you would bewilling to disclose such information to complete strangers when asked/demanded?


Have you found this to go over well and result in continued communication?
- April 15th, 2009, 04:31 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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lucky173 wrote :

Shads wrote :


kiki____2 wrote :


mab1123, wrote :


I recently met this guy and we've been talking on the internet for a couple of weeks now. We finally met in person for the first time this weekend. In therory he's everything I've been looking for. But the problem is, that he's not the best looking guy in the world. I'm not exactly model material but (not to sound stuck up) I would still consider myself ummmm....above him in the looks department. He's really someone I can be comfortable around and I want this to work! My question is....Can someone learn to be attracted to someone? Is this something a person can learn to live with over time? Or is this a lost cause? Please help me. What sould I do?


DDear Mab: You have my sympathies. I went thru a similar meeting only much worse. We had been talking on the phone and his voice was very attractive. However, after meeting him his beer belly, deafness and bad teeth were more than I could get past. In reality, a smile, a curl, color of eyes, scent, physicality are all part of attraction. If none of those things can change then it a "no go" for me. Reality: a pot belly just doesn't "work" when it comes to doing it either. Not even the biggest can make that jump!


Good luck with your search. Don't give up. I now ask questions first: Like: Do you go to a gym? How much do you weigh? Are you really 6'4"? Do you run? Are there any health issues you currently have ie. Emphasema? Is 62 your actual age? Can I see you Drivers Licence? Are you sexually active? Diseasefree? They may seem blunt but it cuts thru the BS waste of time.


KiKi (67Yrs.old)


EAXACTLY!!!!!.......... I always demand photos from all sides and ask questions.


This is slightly off topic here, but I'm just curious to know how people have reacted to being asked for their drivers licenses, or their personal medical history? Or having demands placed on them for photos from all angles? Is it safe to assume that either (or both) of you would bewilling to disclose such information to complete strangers when asked/demanded?


Have you found this to go over well and result in continued communication?
LOL...maybe I should startdemanding 'butt-shots' before an in-person meeting.
- April 15th, 2009, 04:35 pm
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hankm25 hankm25 is offline
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I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?
- April 15th, 2009, 04:38 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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hankm25 wrote :

I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?
No way, I don't close them out. I have qualities that compensate for my lack of good looks.....like my collection of Star Wars memorabilia.
- April 15th, 2009, 04:42 pm
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I would never close out someone for “too much” of anything.


I have closed matches with very attractive photos for greed and deal-breaker lifestyle differences, though.
- April 15th, 2009, 04:43 pm
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lucky173 lucky173 is offline
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hankm25 wrote :

I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?
I've done this! I've had a few matches where the guy was just wayyy wayyyyy good looking, like... George Clooney hottt and yeah, I had to do it - closed him out. No amount of optimism that I posess could have gotten me to hit that request communication button... none.
- April 15th, 2009, 05:26 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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lucky173 wrote :

hankm25 wrote :


I think looks are super important because it is about attraction. In fact, if I get match who is way hotter than I am I will close them out immediately. It just doesn't feel right if they are too hot. Does anyone else do this?


I've done this! I've had a few matches where the guy was just wayyy wayyyyy good looking, like... George Clooney hottt and yeah, I had to do it - closed him out. No amount of optimism that I posess could have gotten me to hit that request communication button... none.
Come on lucky.....you're one of the hotties hank was talking about! (you did have your photo up before)
- April 15th, 2009, 05:31 pm
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