Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
 
LinkBack (3) Thread Tools
theweave theweave is offline
theweave's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 126

See profile

OMG! RUN!!!! Don't walk! Run to your doctor and get the whole battery of blood work you can possibly get!!!! God knows what you may have contracted from him!

He owes you nothing, he is useless and will deny everything anyhow. Just get out now and move on.

Like others have said, take some time off because you will have trouble trusting others. Get some help if you need it too!

Good luck!
- May 14th, 2009, 10:22 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
bluejeanz01 bluejeanz01 is online now
bluejeanz01's Avatar

bluejeanz01 has some home work to do

Quick Study

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 85

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I think there are a couple of nearly unrelated issues here (and they are not all his.)

First, you snooped and pried into things that are not yours (assuming these accounts are not shared.) Still, having established the behavior you might as well let him know what you did. You are not free of blame (and I may well dump a woman for that sort of invasion), but the conversation is no less relevant. Coming up with a tactic to avoid the revelation you snooped is adding stupidity and disrespect to the snooping.

Second, I do not see that there is any relevance to whether he “connected in person.” Unless calling was the only intent – which I would not believe if that is his defense – the intent is adequately a concern that I would absolutely leave.

I see no logic in confronting him (to what, revel in being all righteous?) If you choose to, I would be totally direct and forthcoming about the source of your knowledge.
I agree with DL tell him you're done with him then give him a Quarter and tell him call someone who cares. He'll figure it out.
- May 14th, 2009, 11:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
twolatesmart twolatesmart is offline
twolatesmart's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 14

See profile

My own husband was doing just this except he spent $150 on one of them because he doesn't bother to erase his text messages and I snooped. I texted one of these glorified prostitutes from HIS phone and told her who I was and that she'd been busted. Thus, I'm in the process of dumping him now.
- May 15th, 2009, 03:23 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
kelliemaree kelliemaree is offline
kelliemaree's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

I am having a similar situation happen with my fiance i had a baby 6 months ago and in the last 3 months he has been disapearing for hours on end i have also been going through his call log and went through the local paper adult section where i foud a fair few of the numbers he had called some which were phone sex lines and one a brothel! he denies it till the cows comes home and gets angry at me for implying it but what else are we ment to believe? I am also at a loss as to what to do about the situation.
- May 15th, 2009, 07:36 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,337

See profile

I agree what others have said.

Dump him.
No need to confront or explain.
Get checked.

And as some have said, you may want to look within yourself. Snooping is not a good trait to have. And no you cannot justify snooping as you found out that your boyfriend was calling escorts.
- May 15th, 2009, 08:06 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

6dle899 6dle899 is offline
6dle899's Avatar

6dle899 Losing faith in humanity. One person at a time.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 3,764

See profile

Dump him immediately, permanently, and with NO explanation.

It is horrendous that you snooped, but a good thing in this case you did.


For the next guy, please be a lot more selective. <----------and for his sake and yours, get tested NOW. I hope YOU don't turn out to be a Petri Dish of sexually transmitted diseases. < fingers crossed >
- May 15th, 2009, 09:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
boccabum boccabum is offline
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 976

See profile

I agree dump him. And also for the snooping thing: yes, something in his behavior might have triggered your snooping. But leave it at that. Going forward, you're obligated to tell him HOW you found out about this and for him to change his passwords so you can't continue to read his emails and look at his phone calls. You had no right to look at his personal data and even less right after you dump him to continue this. Move on with your life and don't access his stuff anymore.
- May 15th, 2009, 10:17 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
glassonlyhalffull_fillit glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline
glassonlyhalffull_fillit's Avatar

glassonlyhalffull_fillit Love being part of two again

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 2,015

See profile

ThePriestess wrote :
Why would you want to "bring it up"? Just leave.
Last edited by glassonlyhalffull_fillit; May 15th, 2009 at 10:42 am. Reason: +1!
- May 15th, 2009, 10:42 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
glassonlyhalffull_fillit glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline
glassonlyhalffull_fillit's Avatar

glassonlyhalffull_fillit Love being part of two again

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 2,015

See profile

OP not that I advocate snooping, but in this case GOOD work! He deserves to simply see your belongings and you gone. No explanation required. Oh and discontinue the snooping, you have enough proof, why bother?
- May 15th, 2009, 10:46 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
dolphin239 dolphin239 is offline
dolphin239's Avatar

dolphin239 hopes for better weather.

Quick Study

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 181

See profile

tbesq wrote :
Dump him. You probably should have done it a while ago anyway, you would have no need to invade his privacy if you trusted him. I doubt your man is any different than he was when you first met him, you probably chose to ignore your misgivings...a common mistake many women make.

Don't confront him. He'll obviously want to know why you're dumping him, but just say it and let it be at that before he starts going into defense mode. And try to listen to your intuition from now on.
Trying out the quote function for the first time since forum changed here, with all the new bells and whistles
And I haven't read all 3 pages of this post yet but wanted to reply,
Unfortunately, you can't always listen to your intuition. Well, you can hear it whisper, but especially if you are already enmeshed in a LTR, but have no Proof he has contacted an escort, or done any other number of undesireable things. What I'm trying to say is, unfortunately from my experience sometimes snooping, even extensive snooping , is warrented, and the only way you will ever find the truth. Just asking him, based on a "feeling" you have , will get, simply put, a lie from him, of course. Of Course he isn't going to just admit whatever it is, especially cheating, being with escort, etc, just because you had a feeling of such a thing. Some guys DO have a whole secret alternate life, be it escorts, cheating, strange fetish, porn, or worse, whatever it is, they could be Very into hiding it , and having a different exterior, and sometimes snooping is the only way to really get at the truth. Also, if this is really the case, he's probably going to be alot more concerned about explaining himself to her , than freaking out over her having snooped. Sometimes it's a relief, he doesn't have to hide anymore. It IS true, he probably Isn't any different than when she first met him. But "blaming" the woman for not "following her intuition", that's too subjective. I'm sure everyone's "intuition" is different.
- May 16th, 2009, 01:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

Bookmarks

« So A Philosopher Walks Into A Bar... | Array | Why are you still single? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/dating/24570-my-boyfriend-calling-female-escorts-off-internet.html
Posted By For Type Date
Dating advice message board This thread Refback August 21st, 2009 09:46 am
My Boyfriend is Calling Female Escorts Off the Internet - Page 3 - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards - eHarmony Advice This thread Refback July 28th, 2009 05:49 pm
My Boyfriend is Calling Female Escorts Off the Internet - Dating & Relationship Discussion Boards &ndash; eHarmony Advice This thread Refback May 15th, 2009 04:58 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ I missed you to Mr. Prince of a Frog My Mom told me before I get serious with a man, he has to pass her test. Then she went on to say that my sisters and her will do an Intervention if I even think ... ” – dahlimema

Join the “Monday November 23rd weekend & date roundup!” discussion

“Hi Cryhaze, I think the issue for you may be the mention of these activities in your profile. When people read things like hiking, biking and camping, more often than not they are going to envision ... ” – cryhaze

Join the “Overwieght but physically active...” discussion

“A lot of men (and women) here encourage a first meet as soon as possible. If you are on a dating site where email is the first contact, what do you feel you need to know before setting up the first ... ” – VB_Girl

Join the “Need to know” discussion

“Wow... thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies (that goes for the people who PM'd me on the topic as well). First off, I'm glad to hear of others who have either been in the situation and ... ” – Mangosteen

Join the “what to do... second guessing myself” discussion

“ I guess that all depends on your point of view!” – mikeinor

Join the “Do the "rules" for intimacy change once you've been married and divorced?” discussion

“Gosh, you have energy. I would have been burnt out chasing between homes in the mornings. I have no problems with relationships moving fast, even if he had asked you to get married after only 3 ... ” – Daphnie

Join the “Advice Needed -- What's Next?” discussion

“ So, people, here are my questions for you: Did you ever get in the wrong line yourself? Yes Did you do it deliberately, or inadvertently? Both, I do get in the Express line with more items if ... ” – yoga_gal

Join the “Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line?” discussion

“ That is the warm feeling we get all the way down to our toes and the chill we get up the back of our spine when we eat a bite of ice cream.” – mikeinor

Join the “Is everyone but me dating?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:32 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0