I truly believe that honsty is the best policy,but do to curcomstances,if you don't want to get hurt and can't handle the truth don't ask him/her questions about there past or present personnal bussiness. I do believe that a couple or family that prays together stays together Amen...

Great article. Sometimes it's tempting to lie so that you won't get judged by a new partner and they can get to know you a little: But once they find out you lied, the relationship is doomed anyway. Also, I dated a guy that kept the ex around as friends (even showed me some picture mail that she'd sent him). That just ruined any chance that I could trust him or develop anything special. If I ever said, "her or me", I always felt it would be "her". Guys and gals, get rid of your ex's if you really want a strong relationship. Holding onto the past will definately stunt your future..

itsbits, I respectfully disagree with your advice that people should "get rid of yours ex's [sic] if you really want a strong relationship." I am extremely close with one of my ex-boyfriends, to the point that he would certainly be invited to my wedding were I to get married.

You have to let someone do something untrustworthy to not trust them with good reason, and having a friendship with someone who was once a lover is simply not grounds to distrust someone. That you felt that you would "lose" if you offered him an ultimatum is nothing to do with him; perhaps it would be just as fair to examine why you would feel the need to offer up such an ultimatum in the first place.

If you have a respectful romantic relationship with someone, and neither person doe anything "wrong," per se, it's just not in the stars for it to last, there's no reason you shouldn't become friends again after you've healed.

Mixed messeges shouldn't be digested as mis-interpreted?


I agree with (Maargaret) below, about exs in our lives. If your divorced, snd hsve children together then they are "OUR" children, and the exs, either an ex-wife or ex-husband should put the past behind and seek a common ground and you will be amazed at the way the children respect both parents for being on friendly terms.


My ex-girlfriend gave me a ride to pick up my daughters for a weekend after dating for several weeks, and after that day, the relationship was in termoil. The calls were less, trying to make plans turned into excuses why getting together for dinner, or plans for holidays got cancled, and then...the break up email on Christmas eve stating how my daughters were "baggage" and would only get in the way of our relationship...


Well, after the pain, and the shock, I told her goodbye, and never to contact me again, since my daughters will always come first, I just wanted her to be a part of my life with my daughters when they visit from out of state. Financialy I pay support for two daughters, and not rich enough to meet her Rich parents who own 4 houses , and was an embarressment to her.


I rather be poor paying child support for my daughters, knowing they will have a life better than I have growing up.. I am also working full time, and paying my way thru college and 14 months away from a BA.


My life is rich spiritually, and for my ex girlfriend, she will be poor and lonely for not knowing that, and I will continue to enjoy my daughters till I grow old and hold my grand children, tell jokes with my exwife and her new husband. As for me, time will keep moving forward,


Final thoughts, 3 sides to every story, yours , mine, and the truth. as for the truth, yo be the judge.


Stay well,