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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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Talking to someone about their weight is the last thing any one wants to do, but when a person's health is at risk, it's necessary. Here's how to talk to your mate about thier weight without crushing their self-esteem.
- February 19th, 2009, 07:10 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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This is great advice for a relationship advice site.
- February 19th, 2009, 09:20 pm
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InLoveAgain InLoveAgain is offline
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I think that addressing the person's health, in relation to their weight, is how to approach it properly. No matter how sincere you may be, it might very easily be interpreted as you being unhappy with their weight as opposed to true concern about their health. Of course, as in any relationship issue, communication, and the degree to which you've created open communication prior to this, will be a major consideration.
- February 20th, 2009, 08:27 am
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DearJohn DearJohn is offline
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shygrrl wrote :


This is innappropriate advice for a dating advice site.


I agree!


Since "mate" is refered to in the plural "their" rather than the singular ("his" or "her"), this post is obviously promoting a polygamist agenda!
- February 20th, 2009, 08:32 am
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tweet37 tweet37 is offline
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Gee....I wish I read this article before I told her she was fat.





- February 20th, 2009, 08:58 am
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Well, this was obviously written by someone never in the situation. You make it sound so easy, an article like yours is condescending. Are you implying that a serious problem like this could just be solved if someone would follow your easy, simple suggestions? Yeah, right.


The best thing I ever heard about weight problems is this - someone with a serious weight problem always has a serious emotional problem too.


I dated someone who was obese, not because I was physically attracted, but because I really liked him as a person. In the beginning, he offered to lose weight for me because he said I deserved someone in better shape, but he didn't stick to it. His eating habits were terrible and unhealthy - it went beyond fattening stuff - he doesn't want to believe in vegetables, vitamins, doctors, etc. He is a walking advertisement for heart attack risk. He would not listen to my concern about his health and my suggestions or offers to help him. He did not want to hear me say that the state of his health caused me constant worry and stress. He would accuse me of being "mean" whenever I brought it up.


I have kept him as a friend, but I don't need to be tied at the hip to someone like that, he was pulling me down with him and I gained a lot of weight when we were together.
- February 20th, 2009, 09:20 am
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Scotch Scotch is offline
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I think it is good advice and an issue many deal with but do not know how to bring up - it is important to approach in a really sensitive manner!
- February 20th, 2009, 10:32 am
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wtfdotcom wtfdotcom is offline
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the article left out the part about the bullet-proof vest...
- February 20th, 2009, 01:00 pm
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littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
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wtfdotcom wrote :

the article left out the part about the bullet-proof vest...
You shouldn't wear those - they make you look fat.
- February 20th, 2009, 03:35 pm
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be11ad0nna be11ad0nna is offline
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Here's the best advice for talking to someone about their weight: When the conversation starts, if you are the one who is being told you have a weight problem - walk - no, RUN - away. If someone is unhappy with your habits and appearance they will never be satisfied. Once you lose 20 lbs they will want 25. Once you lose 30 lbs they will want you to have perkier breasts. While you're doing that you might as well have a tummy tuck too. Andon and on and on.


I have dated men like this - and when the subject of losing weight comes up, I walk away. If they can't deal with me flaws and all, then I can't deal with them either. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and they can find someone who will obsess about the physical with them - and I can find someone whoappreciates the wonderfulness of me, both body andmind.
- February 20th, 2009, 05:03 pm
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