i posted a couple of threads here about it (when i was trying to process things...and i'm still trying), but i can cliff notes it.

basically she wasn't who i thought she was. it was a relationship with a 5 month deadline because she had a job where every 6 months for 2 years, she changed sites. after the 2 years, she can go where ever there is a company site and can get a job.

everything was peachy keen when we were together. we had our squabbles, but we worked them out. actually, i was the immature one, constantly resorting to silent treatment and she was the one who would drag a conversation out of me.

when she left, we tried long distance. a low level long distance, where we were kind of on "pause." but our roles switched. when we had problems, mostly where she wouldn't return my calls and texts or would go off and do things and not tell me (i know, i was clingy), instead of just talking to me she would flip out, yell at me, then not talk to me. she would tell me what kind of jokes i could and could not make. after a few weeks of this, i learned to stop being clingy, so i didn't call/text everyday and didn't constantly ask "where were you?" (i actually stopped asking, completely) i think this freaked her out, and broke us up 2 days before our planned (1.5 months beforehand) vacation to meet in Arizona. she just said "i am not going" and didn't offer an explanation...even when i pleaded that we must talk about this, that we can't end this way...she just said she's not going into details.

i still have trouble reconciling the two. when we were together, in person, she told me she loved me. would do anything for me. that i made her happier than anyone ever has. that she's a better person when around me and that she's scared of not having me in her life. and that eventually, we would end up together. she even brought up marriage and the topic of children (even though she claims she doesn't want children), when i never dared bring those subjects up. after all, we were only together for 5 months. she said she was saving paris for the man she wanted to marry...and then asked me if i wanted to go to paris. and on the flip side, you have what i said above.

so yeah...just not who i thought i fell in love with. and that's a tough pill to swallow