Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
eharmonyadvice's Avatar

Moderator

Join Date: Oct 2007

Posts: 852

See profile

Before you can share your love with someone else, you have to first love yourself. But what does that mean and how do you get there? Try these exercises and see how how easy it is to be your own best friend.
- December 19th, 2007, 07:20 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
tru47 tru47 is offline
tru47's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 7

See profile

This article's observations and suggestions are very true. I'm an education professional, and "loving yourself" falls under the umbrella of "teacher, teach yourself first." I don't know about anybody else, but the best way for me to learn is by repetition. Saying out loud what I'm grateful for in the world, in other people, and in myself reinforces my awareness of those qualities. I used to be a people-pleaser, "good girl" kind of person. That just reduced my self-esteem and increased feelings of resentment at being taken for granted. But when I taught myself to love and appreciate myself, some good things happened. That healthy self-esteem seems to automatically screen out people who would not appreciate me, and attract into my world people who would. (I mean in my local real world, not through eHarmony.) This upward spiral continues, thusly -- the more emotionally healthy people who populate my world, the more grateful I am for them. The more creative, mutually supportive things we do in our community, the more grateful I am for the opportunity to improve the world we live in. The more I'm grateful for those people and things, the more appreciative I am of myself ... and, well, you can see where this is going. I recommend just trying saying self-affirming things to yourself (they're called "affirmations") and taking the time to thank yourself for the good you do for others, for animals, for the environment. It may feel silly at first, but you'll talk yourself into living a more satisfying life, and knowing that you built it. It's easy to love yourself for that!
- December 19th, 2007, 04:37 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
MusicLegend MusicLegend is offline
MusicLegend's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

I absolutely loved this article. In fact I love it so much that I've sent a link out to all of my friends. I totally agree and I have known too many people who are so wrapped up in the idea of being "in love" that they dont take the time to examine themselves. This article would be a big help to those like that out there.
- December 20th, 2007, 10:19 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
sabina sabina is offline
sabina's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 2

See profile

I agree with these women. When I don'r maintain a god relationship with myself I find others are more involved in trying to make me right - help me in their own way. After awhile, I begin to lose control anf responsibilty. This often leads to unpleasant conversations with people who are closest to me. The ones who are actually on my side.
- December 21st, 2007, 03:25 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Maja Maja is offline
Maja's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 3

See profile

I think I'm going to make this my New Year's resolution. I'm a very supportive and loving friend, but hard on myself. Especially the self criticism that runs through my head throughout the day. I would never say such things to a friend! Its funny because when I started to read this article, I thought I had this one covered. I really like who I am and enjoy where I'm at in my life and am blessed with a lot of wonderful people around me. I have a lot of confidence about my appearance and abilities. How wonderful if I can let go of those moments in the day when I'm not good to myself! I'm copying this article and tacking it up over my computer. :~)
- December 21st, 2007, 04:42 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

ballare4 ballare4 is offline
ballare4's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 3

See profile

Everyone should read this article as we prepare ourselves for this New Year!

Relationships have so much to do with timing, but if you don't treat yourself well, if not better than you would anyone else, you will not find the right and best relationship for you.

Cheers to a happy and healthy 2008!
Lisa
- December 21st, 2007, 10:01 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
LisaL LisaL is offline
LisaL's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

Loving one's self is not always so easy. I found help with the book "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix. I'd say this book is the classic for self-love; classes, workshops and discussion groups abound just for this book.
Another, quite new-age, but excellent book, especially for affirmations, is "You can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. These are good supports for the those who want to form better relationships, but aren't sure how to love themselves without getting conceited, proud, boastful, alienating family etc.
- December 21st, 2007, 10:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
beloved0000 beloved0000 is offline
beloved0000's Avatar

beloved0000 wants to be a rock star again

Pacesetter

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 317

See profile

Love it...Hoobastank said it well: I hear a voice inside, it's grown into a scream....I'm not the next of them, I am the 1st of me....cuz I can't live the lie, I am just what you see.....I'm not the next of them, I am the 1st of me!****As soon as I was able to break free of everybody's opinion of who and what I was supposed to be, I began to become me. And I like me. If you don't like me, that's OK. I'm a wave maker. I'm a mover and shaker. I'm opinionated. I love to write. I LOVE music! I love connecting with the uniqueness in people. I love being free and I love being ME! Merry Christmas everybody...buy yourself an eggroll and watch A Beautiful Mind or something. Paint frogs in your hallway! Look out on the snow and marvel at how cats don't sink to the bottom of the snowdrift...?
- December 22nd, 2007, 08:26 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
isluvworthit isluvworthit is offline
isluvworthit's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

Loving yourself thought i did being in the only loving relationship of the post 20th century only ending after spouse passed away after a long illness,really thought love was dead,i enjoyed the darkness an shunned the light so i basically gave up on me an its just been the last couple of years that i have been able to find some kind of peace an start loving myself again,another thing i really didn't forget that love like anything else can only be achieved 1 day at a time.
- December 22nd, 2007, 02:41 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
taeme taeme is offline
taeme's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

I find myself catering to everyone else's needs, but deep down never trying to make myself happy or even trying to uplift myself. I definitely need to get out of this rut.
- December 22nd, 2007, 08:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 Last »

Bookmarks

« can a man be in love and not realize it? | Array | Anyone found a date on the advice site »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Not that my girls begging had anything to do with it, but we all spent the night at Laura's, up early to feed and walk the horses. Sunday had a birthday dinner at my mother's (w/Laura, my daughters ... ” – olneyjeeps

Join the “Monday November 23rd weekend & date roundup!” discussion

“I see it a bit different. You can be warm and still know how to pace your sharing and open up in timely ways. Being warm means being emotionall generous, friendly, loving...it doesn't mean dumping ... ” – HappyandLight

Join the “Why overshare?” discussion

“It doesn't bother me if they say they are nice, though. I just won't believe it until I see it for myself. ” – nightling

Join the “She does not want to be with me because I'm "too nice".” discussion

“” – D_Lion

Join the “Is everyone but me dating?” discussion

“ correct” – notyet

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“I am kind of on the fence about this one. On the one hand, all the emails and such are kind of a waste of time if there's no chemistry once you meet. However, it does feel safer to me to interact by ... ” – nightling

Join the “Need to know” discussion

“How did the email go?” – newbie40something

Join the “Dating and insecurity” discussion

“I would purposely try not to get into the wrong line in this scenario, but I have seen a lot of people do it on purpose just because the other lines were "too full". Tough cookies, I say. It's an ... ” – kneo24

Join the “Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:02 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0