Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
JonCanuck's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

...I hate how EH has it set up about closing someone. I want to know the real reason I was closed. If I am not attractive, I can live with that response. If my profile was lacking something, I would like to know what could it have used...
No kidding! I hate having to press "other" or "based on statements...". I would be better to have the option of a small text field, even if it were only 30 characters. And I want to know what the "other" is, too! I presume the option about "chemistry" means that they just didn't find me physically appealing (don't like goatees, curly hair, glasses, whatever - it doesn't matter, as that's all personal taste. And I don't think that kind of attraction is really that much of a choice).
- September 4th, 2009, 03:09 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#161   Reply With Quote
ming_on_mongo's Avatar

ming_on_mongo -Seattle transplant to NorCal... hmmm, sun good!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 538

See profile

gDate wrote :
Another thing - motorcycles. Please! Grow up! Click.

JonCanuck wrote :
Grow up? Having a bike doesn't automatically mean immaturity any more than owning a $150,000 car does. It's sad if that's all you've seen in motorcyclists. It's just a mode of transportation. It's more environmentally friendly than anything on 4 wheels, and lot more convenient in many ways. If I lived in a place where the weather made a bike more practical (it snows up to 6 months of the year here), I'd use that instead of a car as my primary transportation. No, I don't own a bike. But I see the practicality in one. And NOT a sport bike (for a variety of reasons).
Actually, I think of the "I hate motorcycles" issue as a good excuse for the fussy, inhibited, or over-controlling types to self-select themselves out ("ewww... my hair, my nails!"). It's not a problem, it's a feature!

Last edited by ming_on_mongo; September 4th, 2009 at 03:33 pm.
- September 4th, 2009, 03:18 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#162   Reply With Quote
Chiara's Avatar

Chiara Modern, Mature, Intellectual Catholic Woman

Newbie

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 37

See profile

And the inverse of that is when it's obvious they're not talking about spirituality (Buddhist, Muslim, etc.) or even christianity (Protestant or whatever), but they're using "God" or "Christian" as code for evangelical or fundamentalist ("My Way or the highway"!).

BTW, don't they already have dating sites exclusively for those folks?
Dear one, I shall try to be charitable, as that is what is expected of me as a faithful Christian.

Simply because there are Christian and Catholic Dating sites does not mean they are as good as eHarmony. I have gone on them, to check them out and have been utterly dissatisfied. Also, eHarmony was begun by an ordained Christian Minister/Pastor. I honestly do not think it is possible for a person to completely hide their beliefs when working/starting and running a company. Well, I guess it is possible for a spy or terrorist but then, usually, even a normally educated person can see through that person's lies.

I hope you or anyone else does not feel attacked by my responses, for this is not my intent whatsoever.
- September 4th, 2009, 03:26 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#163   Reply With Quote
JonCanuck's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

gDate wrote :
Another thing - motorcycles. Please! Grow up! Click.


Actually, I think of the "I hate motorcycles" issue as a good excuse for the over-inhibited, and over-controlled types to self-select themselves out. It's not a problem, it's a feature!
LOL! I never thought of it that way.... Maybe I should pull up an old pick from when I did have a bike, even if it is 10 years old!
- September 4th, 2009, 03:30 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#164   Reply With Quote
Nylit's Avatar

Nylit likes the topic about gaming!!

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 251

See profile

And being worried about being fit doesn't mean not having time for another person. It is a lifestyle choice - and you obviously choose not to live an active lifestyle. No judgement calls there, just the fact of choices.
- September 4th, 2009, 01:13 pm

To Jon Canuck,, I am very active thank you,, and as for stacked I simply meant someone with a "coke bottle figure and not the 2 litre" LOL. You seem very tense. No judgement call there either. But in all honesty, that's mostly what I see in a lot of the profiles and I have nothing at all against any guy who is fit or woman either for that matter. But it is a turn off when that is all you ever see, it feels like no one is imperfect or truly being themselves. And that is merely my view.
- September 4th, 2009, 03:31 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#165   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

JonCanuck's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

Nylit wrote :
And being worried about being fit doesn't mean not having time for another person. It is a lifestyle choice - and you obviously choose not to live an active lifestyle. No judgement calls there, just the fact of choices.
- September 4th, 2009, 01:13 pm



To Jon Canuck,, I am very active thank you,, and as for stacked I simply meant someone with a "coke bottle figure and not the 2 litre" LOL. You seem very tense. No judgement call there either. But in all honesty, that's mostly what I see in a lot of the profiles and I have nothing at all against any guy who is fit or woman either for that matter. But it is a turn off when that is all you ever see, it feels like no one is imperfect or truly being themselves. And that is merely my view.
Tense?! LOL.. I wouldn't have never thought that! I constantly (almost daily) have people, friends and people I deal with in business, say they wish they could be as relaxed, open, and optimistic in life as I am.

As for the "active lifestyle" - I have friends (and have met women) who claim to be very active, but really aren't all that fit as they seem to think they are. For me a perfect match is someone who enjoy a week adventuring with me on vacation doing some pretty tough (but fun!) physical things. If she isn't able to keep up even one day on the ski slopes (because she gets tired, not skiing skill - that's not nearly as important) or can't do a decent one day scramble (that's mountain climbing), then she isn't physically fit.
- September 4th, 2009, 03:55 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#166   Reply With Quote
Nylit's Avatar

Nylit likes the topic about gaming!!

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 251

See profile

Well, you got me there, Jon,,I am nowhere near a mountain or I might give it a try. Heck, we don't have any hills here either. If you see a hill,, someone's buried in it. LOL! Good luck in your search and adventures.
- September 4th, 2009, 04:10 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#167   Reply With Quote
bobkey's Avatar

bobkey wants to find the love of his life

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 8

See profile

I don't claim to be expert with the language, and I might be considered guilty of run-on sentences. There are related things, however, that make me inclined to close a match.

1. Not writing enough in the "about me" section. Not completing it.
2. Lousy spelling, grammar, or punctuation.
3. Hypocrisy. You left out a word in your post.
- September 4th, 2009, 04:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#168   Reply With Quote
ming_on_mongo's Avatar

ming_on_mongo -Seattle transplant to NorCal... hmmm, sun good!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 538

See profile

Chiara wrote :
Dear one, I shall try to be charitable, as that is what is expected of me as a faithful Christian.

Simply because there are Christian and Catholic Dating sites does not mean they are as good as eHarmony. I have gone on them, to check them out and have been utterly dissatisfied. Also, eHarmony was begun by an ordained Christian Minister/Pastor. I honestly do not think it is possible for a person to completely hide their beliefs when working/starting and running a company. Well, I guess it is possible for a spy or terrorist but then, usually, even a normally educated person can see through that person's lies.

I hope you or anyone else does not feel attacked by my responses, for this is not my intent whatsoever.
No offense taken, and understood re: the difference in quality between sites. But alot of what some evangelical folks may take for granted among themselves, may also need to be moderated on a much more mixed site like eHarmony (albeit founded by "an ordained Christian Minister/Pastor").

Just as you'd like your sensitivities respected, note that some of us may instead regard matters of religion as a very personal & private affair. So that the subtle (and not so subtle) proselytizing of evangelicals (or just "wearing their religion on their sleeve") can sometimes feel uncomfortable (if not rude). But that's obviously less of an issue when amongst "your own" in a specifically "christian" site.
- September 4th, 2009, 04:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#169   Reply With Quote
Chiara's Avatar

Chiara Modern, Mature, Intellectual Catholic Woman

Newbie

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 37

See profile

Quoting from: This is in response to Ming_on_Mongo's reply: "Those folks?" By the way, EHarmony is known to be a Christian site. It was started to help people meet other Christians. Grant you they will not reject others, I think, but just a reminder that it was started for that purpose.




Thank you. You may want to see my reply to the same posting as the one to which you are referring.

Last edited by Chiara; September 4th, 2009 at 04:17 pm.
- September 4th, 2009, 04:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#170   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
eHarmony Profile Workshop - Question : How Do You Typically Spend Your Leisure Time? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 32 November 13th, 2009 06:00 pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop: Question 8: "What's The One Thing People Don't Notice About You...?" eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 34 November 13th, 2009 05:42 pm
What NOT to say in my "About Me" Profile SarcasticInSeattle Using eHarmony 22 September 27th, 2009 11:55 am
Help! Is my profile bad, bland, or coma inducing? CorporateMofo Using eHarmony 36 September 4th, 2009 09:44 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“PY You are totally making sense....That's the kinda stuff that either makes for great love stories or depressing ones about love lost. Maybe I need to go re-watch the Notebook to rev up my Emotional ... ” – SincerelySarcastic

Join the “Is it meant to be?” discussion

“arby8 I can understand your confusion. First I will answer your IceBreaker question. Never send an IceBreaker because it is interpreted as a sign that you are a non-paying member. OK now how it ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “Newbie with a question about how it all works...” discussion

“I think the same rules apply, send a few messages back and forth, move to phone and then if there is still chemistry there after communicating for a certain period of time than make arrangements to ... ” – stevex

Join the “Need to know” discussion

“It is actually kind of funny that I am saw this thread today because just last night I was thinking about how I probably spend far too much being paranoid and worrying about how a relationship is ... ” – stevex

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“I went fishing with the alien and caught a bunch of fish but unfortunately, none of them was big enough to keep. Then, someone gave us a big flounder while we were there. It was such a great day! ... ” – AsianFusion

Join the “Monday November 23rd weekend & date roundup!” discussion

“I would never intentionally get into the express line. One day at Wal Mart I realized I had gone into the express with too many items and started to back out. The clerk told me to come ahead. ... ” – k9force

Join the “Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line?” discussion

“ I was discussing POF with a friend last night. She has given up on POF as she has found that it is a site with a lot of ladies of the evening and guys looking for them.” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:26 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0