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slpinsd's Avatar

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I have heard through the grapevine on other dating sites (match.com), that a woman should never initiate communication. This follows along the lines of the man wanting to be the pursuer, and it just not feeling right when a woman initiates. Apparently it does not work out as often when the woman has initiated.

Just wanted to start a discussion about this- men- how do you feel about this? There is a match I am particularly interested in...by the process of elimination and my anonymous views I think he might have viewed my profile, but it hasn't been closed (has only been a couple of days). I am wondering if I should wait a few days to give him a chance before I initiate???

I have to admit that in the past I have initiated and it has never led to a date. Most of the men I initiated with did not respond. But honestly, I am tired of sitting back and waiting.
- November 4th, 2009, 09:04 pm
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slpinsd wrote :
I have heard through the grapevine on other dating sites (match.com), that a woman should never initiate communication. This follows along the lines of the man wanting to be the pursuer, and it just not feeling right when a woman initiates. Apparently it does not work out as often when the woman has initiated.

Just wanted to start a discussion about this- men- how do you feel about this? There is a match I am particularly interested in...by the process of elimination and my anonymous views I think he might have viewed my profile, but it hasn't been closed (has only been a couple of days). I am wondering if I should wait a few days to give him a chance before I initiate???

I have to admit that in the past I have initiated and it has never led to a date. Most of the men I initiated with did not respond. But honestly, I am tired of sitting back and waiting.
Bullcrumble!!!

This topic has been covered many, many times. Most men are quite happy that a woman has shown interest and taken the imitative by beginning communication. Any man who would be put off because a woman initiating communications has control problems, would you really want to date someone like that?

You are paying the same as a man for the service. You have every right to use ALL the features of that service. That includes being able to initiate communications.


- November 4th, 2009, 09:15 pm
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My most recent date was with a woman who initiated. [I would have initiated myself, but I was about to go on a date with another.] By the way, it turned out to be one of the best dates - and maybe the best First date - of my life.
- November 4th, 2009, 09:20 pm
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What Gr8Guyn2008 said. Take charge of your dating life and get your money's worth from eHarmony. I have yet to see a guy on here throw a fit over a woman reaching out to him and starting communication.

It's rare for me that a woman initiates, but when one does, at least I know that she's interested.
- November 5th, 2009, 06:17 am
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Yes, initiate! I am extremely shy and I've done so... no regrets (yet). Life's too short to wait for somebody else to make the first move.
- November 5th, 2009, 07:11 am
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slpinsd wrote :
I have heard through the grapevine on other dating sites (match.com), that a woman should never initiate communication.

What utter rubbish! Of course you can initiate communication. You can't just sit on your derriere and wait and thereby miss a great date or more.
And don't just send a wink, writing a few well thought words makes a much better impression. Good luck with it.
- November 5th, 2009, 07:50 am
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I disagree. I think there is no problem with a women initiating conversation.I say, if you are interested, go for it!
- November 5th, 2009, 09:59 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Bullcrumble!!!
+ 23,000,273, 993, 624.
- November 5th, 2009, 10:30 am
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Of course, women should never initiate communication. They should also never leave the house. They should stay in the house all day, clean up, make dinner, raise the kids. Each woman has a man for her and he will come along one day and sweep her off her feet. All she gotta do is be prim and wait.

Never be tired of sitting back and waiting. In eHarmony, a woman's role is to pay the subscription fees month after month after month after month, until this man comes along. In fact, I heard that EH is sorry about putting the "Start Communication" buttons on women's screens and said they will remove them soon.

It's the 1930s, slpinsd, catch up with the times.

- November 5th, 2009, 11:25 am
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do not initiate if you never want to meet anyone.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:07 pm
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